Wednesday, April 29, 2015

What to Do When Your View of Success Changes

Mis queridos- 

It's been a while since I wrote out something, and thought I'd update where I am in my life.

I have recently been feeling at a crossroads, stuck between doing what I thought I loved and starting out on a new path. It is such a strange feeling realizing that there really is something else out there, that many of our lives are ripe with opportunities that we many times do not notice.
These past few months have been so amazingly abundant with new job opportunities, friends, love interests, and most importantly dreams. As I complete more and more goals that I thought were impossible, my dreams keep growing and I am finally able to see myself really becoming that which I only fantasized about before.

But what about when that fantasy no longer applies to your life anymore?

Take a step back to survey your life.
Every experience allows us to grow and change our views about the world we live in. New goals were created by a new way of thinking, a new person. Get intimate with that person- what values does he/she have? What kinds of things does he/she most enjoy? When we are honest with ourselves about who we are today, it makes it a lot easier to accept the transition and move easily in a new direction.

Take out the trash.
This is metaphoric too. The more that I dedicate myself to improving my life and relationships with others, so much stuff comes up seemingly from nowhere. My room starts to feel cluttered. Relationships that once served me start to feel stagnant or out of sync.

This new change is a wonderful time to get out those old patterns and let go of what no longer serves you in order to make room for the new. Physically cleaning my room- opening old storage drawers and just throwing away bags of old papers, clothes, and trinkets I don't need- is so therapeutic. Afterward, my spirit feels lighter. Even though it can be hard sometimes, sometimes you just gotta cut the crap and do it. For yourself.

Explore new hobbies.
I have found that my life transitions were always led by a change in tastes. All of a sudden I get so excited about this new job opportunity or reading this new book and it takes me on this journey that ends with a great lesson. Allow yourself to get caught up in a whirlwind of joy- it may be as simple as starting a short meditation ritual everyday, or taking yourself out to lunch twice a week at your favorite café. "Follow your bliss" is probably some of the best advice that I have gotten recently, and when I allowed myself to get caught up in what I loved to do, I woke up six months later feeling like a completely different (awesome) person.

Work hard.
This may seem obvious, but when we transition into a new life, it is easy to start dawdling in random shit that doesn't mean anything, like playing mahjong online for hours. Whoops. This just puts you back in the trap of going back to your old life because the new one seems like it has no promise. If you don't know where to start, pick up that book that you've been meaning to read. Take a day to apply on a whim to a bunch of jobs. Go travel your local neighborhood, city, country, or the world! Get out of your comfort zone and start working and exploring like the person that you want to be, not the person you are today.

Buena Suerte

 Image Source: Tumblr

Wednesday, April 15, 2015


Currently loving the wrapped blazer look. So easy-you can look fresh without buying anything new! 

Also the cinched waist is so feminine. Good outfit idea for a date possibly... ;)

Bisous ♥

{Forever 21 Blazer // Rich & Skinny Jeans // BCBG heels // Zara bag also here}

Photos by: Daniel L.

Friday, March 6, 2015

The Long and Winding Road

I just tried Tai Chi last week, and I've been to every one of the teacher's classes since.

We had just gotten started, we were doing these motions guiding the curved arm back and forth, back and forth. Then he said something that really struck me- just imagine a road. and no matter how curved or winding, is still a road. It is still going somewhere, it still has a definite direction.

I probably stopped moving for a second and stared. I mean... ????

For all this time, I've been moving through life worrying and worrying and worrying about where I'm going and whether or not it's gonna work out and what will they think and what will I think and what if what if what if what if....

Instead of trusting. Instead of just knowing that I will never truly know how my actions will affect the future.. and being ok with that. The best opportunities have come to me when I genuinely wasn't trying to control anything. I mean, I showed up to the class because I was tired of feeling empty and disconnected from my body. And it honestly has been one of the best feelings I have ever felt in at least the past five years. Ecstasy. Pure ecstasy in my own quietude.

From all the numbing substances I've used- drugs, alcohol, food, sex, relationships, self-help books (yes, you can be addicted to these too),  I have never once walked out after and felt like this. Never. And I'm sure that if you've found this, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I have put so much ego into everything- figuring out exactly what this will mean if I put it on my resume and doing it because I think it will make me feel better about myself. I mean, just tearing myself apart to try to fit this ideal that really wasn't an ideal vision for me. It was what I thought society wanted from me. But then, looking back, I can see now that all those detours I took, all those failures, led me to negatively control. And all that gripping, all that forcing, led me here. Right here. To the present moment. The moment where I finally let go and soften.

My spiritual practice has gotten so so powerful because I couldn't take it anymore. Because I had to see that there was something deeper, something more. Something out there. Somewhere. 

And it's been rough, really rough sometimes. But it's ok. Because the quality of your practice is measured by the depth of your peace when you're there. Not the length, not how happy you are most of the time, not your lack of depression. Only how deep you go when you go. But to get there you need to really commit to this every single day.

Now I see, looking back, that all this deviating and changing course and not settling and running away and backing out too soon and staying in too long...
That's what's gotten me here today. The positive wouldn't have done it. Had I been  truly satisfied with my life then, I would have never met her... This place that is so rich with feeling and life and beauty. This place that is so wonderful, this place that I hope all of you can have for yourself in all moments, for all of time. 

In gratitude.

Image Source

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Gong Hey Fat Choy

I thought I'd start off the Chinese New Year right with a big red piece. Ya know, for luck ;)

Sunday, February 1, 2015

The Heart Always Knows

We all deserve to know that even on the darkest days there are little sparklers of light guiding our path.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015


Silence + Noise.
Black + White
Shiny + Dull 
Smooth + Rough 
Cold + Warm
Dry + Wet